Judgment, Verdict, Bitterness! Just for Lent # 4

One of the signs

bitterness

is the tendency

to make "judgements" and set "verdicts"

on those that have wronged us or

shamed us or even done us harm.

To understand this, just think of a time when a family member or a close friend shamed you by ignoring you or said something they didn't like about you.

We bristle!

We begin to "judge" them as being thoughtless, uncaring, self-centered, a bad choice for a spouse or a friend, and we let that "verdict" against them...

settle into our hearts to protect ourselves from the deeper pain from the insult, yes, the deeper, almost unbearable pain of being un-loveable, worthless, no-good, ugly, or abandoned.

It isn't really the harm done to us by others that we need to get "settled" with God in prayer, it is these deeper beliefs that come as a result of others' thoughtless or intentional words or deeds. Have a conversation with God: Am I truly un-loveable? God, I believe I'm ugly....they just said it, and I remember when my Aunt told me that when I was young. Listen in the quietness of your soul for God's response... God... what do you think about me? Do you think I am worthless? He wants to speak to the very depth of your pain where lies about yourself are lurking. It is here you will get free of the wrongdoing of others.

Judgment and verdict are the "stuff" bitterness and hatred is made of. Anger, a fruit of bitterness makes us irrational and makes situations so much worse.

Getting free of our lies by drawing into the court room of our God, is where love begins and grows. Even the most horrible wrong done against us can be dealt with once we have that inner peace. Our decisions become more rational, our actions more precise and we usually make situations better. How wonderful it is to be free of the "power" that others have over me when I am in the midst of judging and giving verdicts.

When we become more adept at easily recognize signs of bitterness in ourselves, we can begin to take bitterness to prayer and have the Lord gently but surely release us from this strangle hold that it has on us, one layer at a time. You see, even bad emotions can be turned around for the good.

They can actually be the impetus for our healing and holiness. Don't run away from them, afraid to see the ugliness that lies there. Be patient with yourself. We can be free indeed.

Oh, Happy Lent!

Sharon

Pope Francis, You Make Me Feel Uncomfortable!

Pope Francis, do you really take a bus instead of a limousine? I have only ridden in a limousine a few times, but I really liked it! It made me feel special, important, "better than".

Pope Francis, did you really go to the hotel to pay your bill personally?  I like a good “deal” and would have been so happy to have someone pay the bill for me… and also feel the “privilege of being special”. 

Pope Francis, you resisted the pressure and expectations that you needed to wear the “special” robes as you went out to meet the people for the first time as Pope.  You chose the simple white garments and a very simple “wave” as you greeted everyone.  I would have loved to put on the garments that singled me out as “the NEW POPE”, a unique position of power.

Oh, and were you sincere, Pope Francis, when you told your people in Argentina not to come all of the way to Rome for your installation, but rather,  “Tell the bishops and the faithful to make an offering and an act of solidarity to the poor with the money instead”?  You have already made me think about my life.  Do I need ALL of the clothes in my closet?  How do I seek after “privilege” in my own life?  Why would I want to be more “special” than someone else? 

Pope Francis, something in my soul rejoiced with all of the angels in Heaven with the simple choices I have seen so far.  They challenged me and made me uncomfortable, but they quickened hope in my soul that there can be one among us who loves at a deeper level. 

I think that we all dream of a society that would be more just and more generous, more genuine and trustworthy.   Seeing a glimpse of a man living these qualities these past few days reminded me of a man who lived and died so many years ago…centuries ago.  It reminded me of Easter Morning.  And my heart quickens with the realization that you, Pope Francis, are following Him.  And that this gift of discipleship is a call to each one of us today as it was 2000 years ago.

Keeping Watch With Those Who Are Bitter

Sunday, March 3, 2013 Lent, 2013 Reflection Series: #3 Keeping Watch With Those Who Are Bitter. Lenten Newsletter sent Sunday nights by midnight. Lettertowomen.blogspot.com .   Are there those around you who are bitter at heart, whose suffering is large? Do they sometimes take it out on you? Even blame you? Are you tired of their unending stories of being wronged? Sometimes we just want to tell them to stop being bitter. Rooting out bitterness is a work of God, a grace, a journey. Understanding and seeing past the ugliness that bitterness brings with it, is a work of grace. As Jesus walks to Calvary, he looks into the crowd of bystanders and he loves them even through His pain. He knows their troubled hearts, what is good there and what is bad, and yet His eyes hold only love for them and compassion. Can we take a second look at our loved ones and see their pain, and renew our desire to love them more like Christ. Can we watch one more hour with them? OH Happy Lent! Sharon Colossians 3: vs. 12-14 "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience...Forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." A Story of a Bitter Man Who Found "A Way Out" From His Bitterness From the Injustice Done to Him. My friend, Jack, had worked his whole adult life in the steel mills. He regularly requested double shifts, so that he and Georgia would have enough money to travel when he retired. He wanted to show his wife the world. Soon before he retired, The steel company was bought out by another company, and part of the buy-out included a loss of most of his lifetime retirement savings/pension and hospitalization. How could someone just come in and take from him what was rightfully his? Oh, how POWERLESS he felt. Deep sorrow. Who could blame him for being bitter? There was a real wrong done to him and it impacted his whole life.Georgia told me that he would go down the basement and just cry. His soul was so weary and burdened. He was bitter because of this deep sorrow. Jack was just a few years older than me but he looked like a very old man. The mills and double shifts had taken a toll on him. Jack came down with cancer and died. But before he died, he bought his wife a double wide trailer and felt as though he had given her something special. Maybe not the vacations , but a home...something they owned. Before he died, Jack turned his bitterness around...He made a new "picture" and didn't let the abuse by a large company tear his heart out completely, even though at times he thought it would break in two. I was blessed to witness Jack's tears, to walk with him through some of his sorrow and to love his wife after he was gone. Maybe you can help someone you love, or even a stranger, paint a new picture to help them out of their bitterness.

Just for Lent #2 When Did My Bitterness Start?

Sunday, Feb. 17 Lent, 2013 Reflection Series: #2 When Did My Bitterness Start? Lenten Newsletter sent Sunday nights-by midnight Reminder: Lenten Study begins tomorrow evening: 7 - 8 Lettertowomen.blogspot.com . When did bitterness start for me? When did I become enwrapped in its tentacles? When did it start for you? A person that I was "counting on" being perfect for me, became less than perfect in the way that I needed them to be perfect. I became shocked, angry, self-righteous, "holier than thou", demanding, judgmental, challenging, looking for other wrongs, unhappy. I cried an awful lot. I talked to many people, trying to get this wrong righted. Nothing worked. I was bitter....plain bitter and really nothing was going to change this unless this person showed themselves perfect again. People that I respected and admired told me that I just needed to "let the bitterness and anger go". They told me that the bitterness would destroy me and wouldn't solve anything. Yes, they were right. The bitterness would begin to destroy me and wouldn't solve anything. I would think..."oh, if only I could be holier and just 'let it go; if only I could be more forgiving; if only I could just stop being angry." But it was impossible for me to let it go, and to tell you the truth, I didn't want to let it go. The anger and bitterness held things "in place" for me. The journey I took to get "free" was much better than just "letting it go". God wanted to do a much deeper work in my soul and He had so much more happiness for me than just stuffing the bitterness somewhere deep inside of me, and just "hoping" that it wouldn't rear its head when something or someone "similar" came on the scene. Does your bitterness hold your world together? Are you afraid, like me, that to let bitterness go would mean giving up a "just grudge"... or risking being shockingly hurt again, traumatized , disillusioned, taken advantage of... or that God would take another loved one away from you... or that you will be abused again, abandoned, taken for granted, neglected, or that you'll be left all alone...Or that the anger and frustration and fear underneath would be too big for even God to handle?   Lent isn't just a time of looking at our sins to see how bad we are in comparison to an all -loving God who died on the cross for us. Lent is a time of taking a good look at our sins, our failures, our weaknesses, AND the defense mechanisms that we have put in to place to cover the places in our hearts that hurt so badly...so that God can accompany us to those areas of pain that hold the lies we believed about ourselves when something bad happened to us; ... so that we can talk to Him about how He sees us and invite Him to touch us with His love. When we hear his voice, our minds and hearts will catch on fire and they'll be no stopping us in moving forward with our lives. Lent is a beautiful love story between you and your creator...between you and your savior. Don't let your bitterness just "go" to some subconscious level. Draw near to God and He will draw near to You. OH Happy Lent! Sharon Ephesians 4, vs. 23, 24 "Be Renewed in the Spirit of your Minds, and put on the new self, created in God's way in righteousness and holiness of truth." Until Next Sunday For Posts during the week go to: Lettertowomen.blogspot.com A Lenten Resourse: Fr. Jonathan's Plan for Lent Lent Challenge: 2013 click above

#1 When Bitterness Won't Go Away

Sunday, Feb. 17 Lent, 2013 Reflection Series: #1 When Bitterness Won't Go Away Lenten Newsletter sent Sunday nights by midnight. Also: You are invited to join Theresa Pirie and Sharon Morris for a 4 week Study During Lent of : 24-Hour Turn-Around, Change Your Life One Hour at a Time by James Hartness and Neil Eskelin Feb. 25, March 4, March 18, March 25th. Mondays from 7 to 8pm at the Morris', Copley, Ohio. RSVP: Text/Call: 330-715-9613 or SharonMorris@KW.com Also: Introducing: Lettertowomen.blogspot.com .   Have any of us escaped the "worse than flu-like" symptoms of bitterness? We can catch them in an instant, and they can stay with us for a lifetime. Bitterness can travel through our spirits like disease carries its destruction through our bodies. When we rid ourselves of it's tentacles, we experience a spiritual return to health, accompanied by a new enthusiasm for life and hope for ourselves and others. I'm inviting you to join me in a Lenten Journey, as we consider "Bitterness"... and where we might discover glimpses of it in our own life. I'll be sharing inspiring stories of people who have found freedom from its tentacles, scriptures to encourage us, and just some friendship along the way as we Allow God to be our ALL in this beautiful season of our life. Lettertowomen.blogspot.com is my new Blog site where you can go any time to read the reflections as I write them, add your own comments, or access last year's Lenten reflections in the: archived newsletters at: Lettertowomen.blogspot.com If you want to be notified when I post something on the blog site, you can sign up at the site (on the right hand side) and you will receive a notification as soon as it is posted. OH Happy Lent! Sharon Luke 6: Verse 37, 38 "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give and it will be given to you; good measure pressed down, shaken together running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back." Here is a link to one of last year's Lenten Reflections that will start our reflections for this Season. Just For Lent - You Forgave Me click to go to Reflection A Lenten Resourse: Fr. Jonathan's Plan for Lent Lent Challenge: 2013 click above Contact Information: ntnwoman@gmail.com Join our mailing list!

Till Next Sunday Use your scriptures daily. Come out of Lent a new woman. Place the scriptures on your mirror/ over your kitchen sink, on the dashboard of your car, at your office desk. Have fun, make it a game. Feel free to share this Lenten Journey with your friends on Facebook or Twitter or Linkedin by accessing the buttons at the beginning of the email. Sharon