A Break from Life...or Addiction? #2 in a mid-summer series

Neighbor to Neighbor Woman Presents:

In this issue... #2 in the series, A Break From Life... or Addiction? 'Simply and Beautifully Woman' Newsletter  #2 A Break from Life.... Or Addiction    June 30,  2013     Greetings!   "Any man can fight the battle of just one day.  It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities...YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW that we break down.  It is not the experience of TODAY that drives men mad - it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened YESTERDAY and the dread of what TOMORROW will bring.  Let us therefore live but one day at a time!"   The above is one of the wonderful quotes that are used in the programs that help "women" (and men and children and teens) deal with addictions. It is a quote that brings wisdom to any of us that have the privilege to live in this world.  There is suffering in all of our lives in the past in some form, and there is fear of the future that faces all of us at some point.  A close walk with God is the source of grace that keeps these virtues of faith and hope alive and well!  A close walk with friends that share the desire to live these virtues well, is a gift sought after in every age.    Kara (a fictional name, a real person, a real text) texted me this week about her computer game addiction.  She also told me about the amount of unusual stresses in her life and how these games are a break from the burden she carries.  Yes, Kara, sometimes these games are a blessing, giving us that break from life around us that seems to be asking too much.   They can relaxe our minds, lets us unwind, give us the needed break to return to our responsibilities. They can  "help" us to Live that "One Day at a Time".     The problem is when these "breaks" start replacing our responsibilities, or that the steady playing starts to re-wire our brains to "needing" to play and "the games" start "leading us" instead of "us deciding to play".    Maturing keeps happening throughout our lives. Taking the time to examine our actions & our emotions is not really a negative or a scary thing or "looking for the bad in me" :  It can be a way of "striving to become what I dream I can be".    Mother's part 2 story of her real life addiction to alcohol follows below and a few thoughts for reflection.   Till next Sunday, Sharon    Please email your wisdom, comments, concerns or stories at:  sharon7writes@gmail.com or come visit my blog-site anonymously at letter to women.blogspot.com     From:  Courage to Change, one day at a time in Al-Anon II...for families and friends of alcoholics.     "Sometimes I become so bogged down with dissatisfaction that I can't see where I am or where I'm going.  When I take time to "Think," I realize that negativity keeps my life at a standstill...while it's good to acknowledge whatever I feel, I have a choice about where to focus my attention.  I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings....I list the things I am grateful for...    I believe I have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose.  The people and situations I encounter each day also have beauty and purpose.  I can begin to look for the positive in everything I do and see.  The perspective I've gained by doing so has show me that some of the most difficult times in my life have produced the most wonderful changes."     Today's Reminder:   "It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort.  I'll replace a negative attitude with a positive one today".                                         The Continuing Story of a Young Wife and Mother, Written for the First Time, Especially for You.        Substance addiction.  "Physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by incorporating the substance into its "normal" functioning.    This young wife and mother is a regular reader of the "Simply and Beautifully Woman" newsletter.  Her story will be the source of our reflections over these next weeks.  There is something for all of us to gleam from her story, whether "addicted" or not.      "My life had always been dominated with negative self-thinking.  From about as far back as I can remember, I'd felt an overwhelming sense of angst and failure.  It was as if there was an empty space in my soul, a constant sense of impending doom.  I had a chronic lack of faith.  Lack of faith in God, lack of faith in others, but even more devastating it was utter lack of faith in myself.  This was all rooted in fear, but at least there seemed to be a good reason for it.    When I was 6 years old, my family experienced an event that made fear a daily reality.  My mother was kidnapped from our family home at gunpoint by a violent criminal.  My most vivid memory from that evening is helping my father and sisters search for a recent photo of my mother to give to the police.  I didn't fully understand what was happening.  I only witnessed their fear and painic and realized that my mom, who had always been there, was no longer by my side.   After two days, my mother was able to escape her captors.  She became a survivor, but the scars of that incident continued to run deep inside my entire family.  My safe haven was shattered.  I lived in fear from that point on, always waiting for the day that my bottom would fall out once again.   The perpetrator was caught and sentenced to jail for a very long time, but we still lived in fear and it defined our family.  When it came time to enter high school, my family thought the best way to protect me was to send me to live in another city, as they had done with my older sister. "     To be continued next Sunday.        REFLECTIONS:   Have you ever been dominated by negative-self thinking?   Is there an empty space in your soul?    Have you ever experienced impending doom?   Can you describe yourself as having a chronic lack of faith when it comes to the real everyday circumstances of your life?    Having the same concerns that this young mother has who became an alcoholic doesn't mean that you will become an alcoholic.  BUT, they are symptoms of a "hurting heart" that keep us from maturing to happy care- free adults.    Recognizing these symptoms, accepting that you can't change them on your own by will power, is a first step to "moving ahead".  Life is short, but never too late to be happy.      Can you share this newsletter with someone that could use some encouragement in these areas?

A Break from Life...Or Addiction? #1 in a mid-summer series

Neighbor to Neighbor Woman Presents:

In this issue... #1 in the Series : A Break From Life... or Addiction? 'Simply and Beautifully Woman' Newsletter  Presents: A Break from Life.... Or Addiction    June, 2013   Greetings!   I'm sorry for those of you who were waiting for Thursday's newsletter!  Because of a wonderfully busy real estate season, writing twice a week has turned out to be just a bit unrealistic.  I forgot about my need for sleep!  So look for a once a week Sunday night or Monday morning edition for this new series on:  "A Break from Life... or Addiction?"   Since I last spoke with you, one of our readers wrote to me about her chocolate addiction; another reader asked if I would be talking about food addictions; Lowell and Nancy from Cleveland sent me a note, "An addiction is anything you can't control by a simple act of your will."         Hmmm....  Does that mean my _______? video games, gambling, exercise in excess, computer addiction, shopping, use of credit cards, compulsive worrying and nagging, spending, television, social or night time drinking, prescription medicines, sex, fighting, etc.    Regardless of what these behavioral or physiological addictions can be, they have a common thread of causing havoc in one's life (and often others)...and the aftermath of "I can't believe I did that again!"   Thank you!  I hope to hear from many more of you about your 'Breaks from Life'... or your 'Addictions'.  Your stories will anonymously be woven into this series to bless others who might be struggling or victorious like you or your loved ones.    Sharon Definitions  - taken from Wikipedia     Tolerance:  is the process by which the body continually adapts to the substance and requires increasingly larger amounts to achieve the original effects.         Withdrawal: refers to the physical and psychological symptoms experienced when reducing or discontinuing a substance that the body has become dependent on.         Symptoms of Withdrawal: generally include anxiety, irritability, intense cravings for the substance, nausea, hallucinations, headaches, cold sweats, and tremors.                The Beginning of a Young Wife and Mother's Story, Written for the First Time, Especially for You.        Substance addiction.  "Physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by incorporating the substance into its "normal" functioning.    This young wife and mother is a regular reader of the "Simply and Beautifully Woman" newsletter.  Her story will be the source of our reflections over these next weeks.  There is something for all of us to gleam from her story, whether "addicted" or not.       My swollen eyes opened and I laid there staring out of the window in my room as the light struggled to break through the morning clouds. I was in another alcohol rehab institution and the familiar feeling of defeat washed over me again.   I had been crying all night, so I was still tired.  But I was always tired, exhausted...actually.  I had spent a lifetime thinking only of myself, and it drained me.  I wondered if I would ever stop feeling sick and tired, but then I knew that would require real changes.  The nurse came in,   "Get dressed honey, breakfast in half an hour and then group" she said with a kind smile.   I was well versed in the process as a three time rehab veteran.  I knew the drill well; go over the steps, make amends, develop a post-treatment AA meeting plan, blah blah blah.  I had successfully faked my way through it for years now.  I actually wondered how long it would take me to convince everyone this time that I got it and that they could leave me alone.  But a new thought actually crossed my mind... could this time actual be different?  How many times was I going to repeat the cycle?  Even those fleeting thoughts made me feel like a failure, but that was nothing new.   To be continued next Sunday.        Have you ever felt "defeat wash over you?   Have you ever cried all night?    Have you spent too much time thinking only of yourself?   Does your life need some real changes?    Are there behaviors that we do over and over again, usually feel bad afterwards, but do them again tomorrow ...and the next day?    Is there someone you know who is struggling with substance addictions?   Can you share this newsletter with someone that could use some encouragement in these areas?

A Father's Day Reflection - Intro to Summer Series

Simply and Beautifully Woman Newsletter

Back From Jerusalem!  A few reflections on Letter to Women.Blogspot.com          April 27, 2013                                                                                  Greetings!   A Father's Day Reflection:   Today I glanced at my Dad's picture.   The tears came right away. Boy do I miss him! He was just so happy, supportive, encouraging and complimentary.  It's been 12 years since he left us, but Do you know how very nice it was to have someone in your life who always seemed to be on your side?                 It was pretty sweet!   My father taught me two very important lessons in life.    One is you are never too  young or old to draw closer to Christ .    Even with my Dad's terrific personality, friendliness, energy, and goodness, there were a few times in his life when he did some "not so good things".   My father met a holy man who helped him understand how he could ask God to forgive him and  he taught him how he could turn things "around" so that he could begin loving more like Christ.    My Dad had a second chance and he took it! What a guy!  I am so proud to be his daughter!   Two: that one of the best ways to love God is to love others greatly in the little everyday things of life. He preached this up to his death.    He wanted us to remember.      Yes!  Even helping someone get a drink of water!   ------------------------------------------------      Coming next week:   Women and Addictions   A mid- summer series   Have you ever wondered why someone gets addicted? Why they stay addicted? Why they find it so hard to turn their life around?  Is that addict you? Could it be me?   Drugs Alcohol Shopping Gambling  Pornography Computer Games  Food  Negativity Nagging Success Television     Let's explore how we get to that simple and beautiful part of being a woman from the starting point of addiction     ---------------------------------------------------   Will write Thursdays and Sundays.  Would love to hear from you. Sharon7Writes@gmail.com or visit Lettertowomen.blogspot.com to make an anonymous comment.  Just sign in with a "pen name".