A place where we can talk on some important issues that women face as they try to get to that "simple" and "beautiful" part of being a woman. I'll be writing Sunday evenings, beginning in January. Hope to talk with you then.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
A Break from Life...or Addiction? #2 in a mid-summer series
"Any man can fight the battle of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities...YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW that we break down. It is not the experience of TODAY that drives men mad - it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened YESTERDAY and the dread of what TOMORROW will bring.Let us therefore live but one day at a time!"
The above is one of the wonderful quotes that are used in the programs that help "women" (and men and children and teens) deal with addictions. It is a quote that brings wisdom to any of us that have the privilege to live in this world. There is suffering in all of our lives in the past in some form, and there is fear of the future that faces all of us at some point. A close walk with God is the source of grace that keeps these virtues of faith and hope alive and well! A close walk with friends that share the desire to live these virtues well, is a gift sought after in every age.
Kara (a fictional name, a real person, a real text) texted me this week about her computer game addiction. She also told me about the amount of unusual stresses in her life and how these games are a break from the burden she carries. Yes, Kara, sometimes these games are a blessing, giving us that break from life around us that seems to be asking too much. They can relaxe our minds, lets us unwind, give us the needed break to return to our responsibilities. They can "help" us to Live that "One Day at a Time".
The problem is when these "breaks" start replacing our responsibilities, or that the steady playing starts to re-wire our brains to "needing" to play and "the games" start "leading us" instead of "us deciding to play".
Maturing keeps happening throughout our lives. Taking the time to examine our actions & our emotions is not really a negative or a scary thing or "looking for the bad in me" : It can be a way of "striving to become what I dream I can be".
Mother's part 2 story of her real life addiction to alcohol follows below and a few thoughts for reflection.
in Al-Anon II...for families and friends of alcoholics.
"Sometimes I become so bogged down with dissatisfaction that I can't see where I am or where I'm going. When I take time to "Think," I realize that negativity keeps my life at a standstill...while it's good to acknowledge whatever I feel, I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I'm challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings....I list the things I am grateful for...
I believe I have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose. The people and situations I encounter each day also have beauty and purpose. I can begin to look for the positive in everything I do and see. The perspective I've gained by doing so has show me that some of the most difficult times in my life have produced the most wonderful changes."
"It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it's worth the effort. I'll replace a negative attitude with a positive one today".
The Continuing Story of a
Young Wife and Mother,
Written for the First Time, Especially for You.
Substance addiction. "Physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by incorporating the substance into its "normal" functioning.
This young wife and mother is a regular reader of the "Simply and Beautifully Woman" newsletter. Her story will be the source of our reflections over these next weeks. There is something for all of us to gleam from her story, whether "addicted" or not.
"My life had always been dominated with negative self-thinking. From about as far back as I can remember, I'd felt an overwhelming sense of angst and failure. It was as if there was an empty space in my soul, a constant sense of impending doom. I had a chronic lack of faith. Lack of faith in God, lack of faith in others, but even more devastating it was utter lack of faith in myself. This was all rooted in fear, but at least there seemed to be a good reason for it.
When I was 6 years old, my family experienced an event that made fear a daily reality. My mother was kidnapped from our family home at gunpoint by a violent criminal. My most vivid memory from that evening is helping my father and sisters search for a recent photo of my mother to give to the police. I didn't fully understand what was happening. I only witnessed their fear and painic and realized that my mom, who had always been there, was no longer by my side. After two days, my mother was able to escape her captors. She became a survivor, but the scars of that incident continued to run deep inside my entire family. My safe haven was shattered. I lived in fear from that point on, always waiting for the day that my bottom would fall out once again.
The perpetrator was caught and sentenced to jail for a very long time, but we still lived in fear and it defined our family. When it came time to enter high school, my family thought the best way to protect me was to send me to live in another city, as they had done with my older sister. "
To be continued next Sunday.
Have you ever been dominated by negative-self thinking?
Is there an empty space in your soul?
Have you ever experienced impending doom?
Can you describe yourself as having a chronic lack of faith when it comes to the real everyday circumstances of your life?
Having the same concerns that this young mother has who became an alcoholic doesn't mean that you will become an alcoholic. BUT, they are symptoms of a "hurting heart" that keep us from maturing to happy care- free adults.
Recognizing these symptoms, accepting that you can't change them on your own by will power, is a first step to "moving ahead". Life is short, but never too late to be happy.
Can you share this newsletter with someone that could use some encouragement in these areas?